Don’t mean to make you paranoid, but you could be scaring your man in the sack. Fear not, we’ll fill you in on his passion peeves so you can steer clear.
Passionate and pleased are the looks you want to see on your guy’s face in the heat of the moment. Panicked isn’t. Yet even the most self-assured man can get shaken up during sex if you do or say something that jolts him out of his comfort zone. And if you think the guy you’re bedding down with this immune to being freaked out during the act, you’re sadly mistaken. If women had any idea how vulnerable men are about their sexuality, they’d be a lot more gentle with them in the bedroom. To avoid erotic errors that’ll make him say ‘Ugh’ instead of ‘Ohhh’ memorize the list of the top five fore-, during-, and afterplay faux pas.
- Coming on too aggressively
Most guys dig girls who embrace their sexuality and are carnally creative, but being more forward than dirty dancers could bug him out bigtime. We’re not saying fearless female self for a passive persona. Just don’t whip out your vibrator too soon or pressure him to do more than he’s willing to.
So how do you know if taking a lascivious lead will rattle your guy? Try some brave moves before you hit the bedroom, like grazing his twins with your hand or grabbing his butt while you’re kissing, then asking him how it felt. If he pulls away or acts less than enthusiastic, turn the temperature down a notch.
- Mentioning other men
Repeat after us: I will never, ever use the words “My ex used to…” or “ A guy I once dated would this or that…” Truth is, it is as if you’re saying “ My ex is so great! Look what we did together, while we’re lying there naked.” What guy wants to hear that or have to compete with that in bed? And the same thing goes for mentioning your favorite sex scene starring Brad Pitt…unless you happen to be Angelina Jolie.
Sometimes sex is so good that it’ll bring tears to your eyes. But it’s this simple to a guy: Tears equal bad. That’s because your man may not be able to tell the difference between tears of pleasure and tears of anguish, and that confusion can send his head spinning. “Men don’t always know how to read the situation when woman is suddenly gets emotional in bed.”
So even though erotic crying is spontaneous reaction that you’re more entitled to display, he’ll assume the worst if you don’t fill him in ASAP. And beyond that, he might get totally turned off. Nothing freaks man out more than a woman who cries during a hook-up.
- Staying silent
Worse than crying in bed is not making a peep. You may worry that belting out your wildest sex noises will make you sound like a hyena in heat, but staying zip-lipped is the real desire deflator. Guys want to please you, so they need some response to find out if they’re hitting the right spots or making the right moves. Play mute and they’ll worry that they’re the worst lay you’ve ever had. Absence of feedback makes a guy wonder and wander. Your silence feed his self-doubt and insecurities about whether he’s pleasing you, chances are he’ll backed out.
- Staring him down
As sexy as soul-gazing sounds, staring deeply and unwaveringly into the eyes of your man for more than 30 seconds at a time could be more cringe-inducing for him than picking up your yeast infection meds for you. Women maintain good eye contact with guys because it makes them feel more connected in bed. But for many men, overdoing it can be too direct and upsetting. He can feel scrutinized or examined, like he’s being evaluated. And when he’s trying to relax and get his love groove on, being judged will do anything but jack up his lust.
Beyond that, too much intense eye latch can make your man think you want to get too serious, too fast. Like you’ve been dating this girl for a month, but every time you had sex, she’d play this psycho-staring game where she’d never break your gaze or even blink. Definitely not a turn on.
A stare down can also make him feel like he’s on the basketball court and has two seconds left to sink the best three-point of his life. Better to switch the zoom lens until you’ve forged a more intimate connection outside of the bedroom.